When Work-Life Balance is Imbalanced

Improving our work-life balance is the wrong goal to be shooting for.

My reasoning? If our at-work and outside-of-work life, is consumed by the have-to and shoulds, we're out of balance, no matter how well the separation of work and home.

Tasks driven by the shoulds and have tos are representative of extrinsic motivation: the energy generated to achieve an outcome that is separate to the inherent reward within the task. Take cooking dinner for example: for some, the process of cooking may not be all that gratifying but we do it so the family will be fed and go to bed happy (well, hopefully). Or, we go to the gym for the reward of looking buff and feeling healthy; we don't do it because we really want to, we do it because we feel we should.

On the flip side, there are those activities we really enjoy and where we lose consciousness of time. These represent intrinsic motivation: where there is the reward simply from engaging in the task itself. For me, coaching clients, writing, baking bread, and dancing, are activities where the motivation to act is easy. Though they might still be demanding, the corresponding enjoyment and sense of fulfilment are high.

So, next time you are looking to get some energy back and think that balance might be an issue, review the mix of have-tos and want- tos, because my guess is, you may need to insert some additional activities into your life (whether at work or outside of work) because you want to do them, not just because you have to.