Anniversaries. Celebrating Life In Death

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death (pictured left). He was killed in a car accident ten years ago.

Anniversaries like these have a way of making us pause: to reflect, to remember, to take stock of the good in life we experience. It makes us realise that life, like a candle's flame, can be snuffed out in a moment.

My brother and I were close. After the initial shock wore off from the news of his death, grief visited me; I learned that grief has its own agenda. There are no time frames, no right or wrong ways to grieve and I learned to allow it to flow; not to suppress it. Grief and working with it, cleansed and healed me over time.

One of the significant realisations through this period was that I was better off celebrating his life rather than remaining in the mourning of his death, for, after all, we had shared 38 years together. That was a change point. Grief took me through the loss and then pointed me to his life: the rich life we had shared together, particularly in the years prior to his departure.

I never forgot this lesson and since that time, with various other losses I have experienced, I have remembered to celebrate life in death.